


What’s in a Name?

by dippkip



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce takes Dami to the zoo and they adopt an owl, M/M, Non-powered AU, inspired by a tumblr post, kids being kids and adults being flirty and gross, like most things involving Damian, the whole thing is an Ordeal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 16:52:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7900483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dippkip/pseuds/dippkip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adopting an owl at the zoo seemed like a good idea at first, but Bruce isn’t so sure anymore. Perhaps a handsome stranger can change his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What’s in a Name?

“Father, what should I call it?”

“Whatever you want, Damian. That’s why I offered, isn’t it?”

“But I don’t know what name to use. What does one call an owl?”

Bruce sighed and resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands. He knew this would be a mistake the instant his 6 year old saw the sign at the zoo that announced “Adopt a bird, choose its name!” It was a nice idea, in theory – you could donate to the upkeep of the bird’s enclosure and choose a name for it, and if you donated enough, you could get one-on-one time with it as well. Naturally, the last part made Damian’s whole face light up, and Bruce hadn’t seen him this happy since Talia left, so he caved and made the donation.

Admittedly, even knowing the consequences, he would still do it, but perhaps he would at least hesitate for a moment if he knew what an ordeal the naming process would be.

“Do I use a dog name? A cat name? What about people names? I’ve never had to name an _owl_ before…”

“People names work just fine, Damian,” he interjected, trying to stem the rambling. “How about one of your favorite characters from that show you and Dick watch?”

Damian’s head cocked to the side. “ _Uptown Monastery_?”

Bruce resisted the urge to sigh again. He always appreciated it when Dick was willing to babysit Damian while he was working, but Dick always watched all these historical dramas, and had successfully gotten Damian hooked on this one in particular. Bruce suspected that was at least part of the reason for Damian’s…unique speech patterns.

“Yes, that’s the one. Don’t you always come home talking about someone…Max…”

“Maximilian Lynwood!” the boy exclaimed. “That’s a wonderful idea, Father! A fine name for a good, strong owl.”

He decisively set his pen to the paperwork, carefully filling the name into the appropriate slot. He paused for a moment and leaned closer. Bruce’s automatic response was to lean down and ask, “Everything alright?”

“How do you spell ‘Maximilian’?”

 

* * *

 

At last, the paperwork was in order, the checks were signed, and the owl was being prepped. The Waynes were shuffled into a different room, where they were told to wait until Maximilian was brought in. Damian sat perfectly still, staring at the door as though willing it to open. He hadn’t so much as squirmed or asked for a single book, though there were plenty on one of the low tables scattered throughout the room. Bruce was just beginning to worry when one of the zookeepers came in, looking a little sheepish. Damian jumped to his feet, but the instant he realized she had no owl, he pouted and climbed back into his chair.

“Is there something wrong?” Bruce asked. God forbid if the owl couldn’t take visitors today.

“Oh no, nothing’s wrong sir! There’s another family who adopted the other owl in the enclosure this afternoon, so we were going to bring them in as well. I hope that’s alright.”

“That’s perfectly fine, thank you,” Bruce replied, trying to not let this woman see how close to tears he’d come. If they could just see the owl and get back home without incident, Bruce would consider his day blessed.

It seems he hoped for that too soon, however, when the door opened again and he almost choked on his spit.

The man who walked through shouldn’t have been terribly interesting, since he appeared to be unironically wearing plaid and jeans, but _God_ , Bruce almost didn’t notice. Thick, dark hair, bright blue eyes that crinkled just a bit at the corners, a brilliant smile that seemed to light up the room, all on a body that put Greek gods to shame? Yeah, the poor fashion choices weren’t his main concern.

Unfortunately, the stranger decided to look up before Bruce stopped ogling him, prompting him to try and return the blinding smile that was now directed at him. Bruce wasn’t sure how successful he was, but the other man didn’t seem put off, so perhaps it didn’t come out too badly.

“Sorry for crashing the party – they told us another family adopted an owl, so I figured we could save them some time by doing it with you guys. The name’s Clark Kent,” he said, offering his hand, “and this is my son Jonathan.”

A cheery “Hi!” came from somewhere around Clark’s kneecaps, forcing Bruce to look down at a young boy whose smile showed off his missing teeth. The spitting image of his dad, it seemed.

Bruce shook the proffered hand and replied, “I’m Bruce Wayne, and this is my son Damian.” When no response was forthcoming, he turned to the now surly-looking child next to him.

“Damian, don’t be rude, say hello.”

A small huff was his only response. The boy continued to stare resolutely at the door.

Bruce sighed and turned back to the Kents with an apologetic grimace. “Sorry, he’s just….very excited to see this owl.”

Clark just chuckled and dropped into the seat on Bruce’s other side. “Not a problem. Jon’s been looking forward to this all day, haven’t you?” he said, directing the last bit to the boy who was now across the room and digging through the book pile.

“Yeah!” he exclaimed, running back over with a book in his arms, “I jus’ learned all about owls in class, an’ now I can go back to school an’ tell everyone I got my very own!”

He carefully placed the book in the chair next to his father, then trotted over to Damian, who was still trying his best to ignore the newcomers.

“What didja name yours, Damian?”

Unsurprisingly, the boy didn’t even acknowledge the question.

“Well, _I_ named mine ‘Hooty McOwlface.’ I thought it sounded nice.”

At this, Damian twitched. Bruce smothered a groan at the look on his face – this was going to end poorly.

“That is a completely ridiculous name.”

Jonathan just cocked his head. “Well, what’d ya call yours?”

Damian hesitated a moment before answering, not breaking eye contact with the door. “Maximilian.”

Jonathan frowned. “That sounds like a person name though. You can’t use a person name for an owl.”

Damian finally turned to glare at the other boy, challenging, “Why not? It is a regal, fitting name for any bird.”

Jonathan’s nose scrunched up. “Yeah, but if you use people names for the owls, won’t that get confusing?”

“Perhaps for a simpleton such as you…” Damian muttered.

“ _Okay_ , that’s enough out of you. Damian, apologize,” Bruce ordered.

“But he said my name wasn’t valid!”

“And you called his ridiculous, which isn’t nice either. Apologize.”

Damian’s entire face screwed up, and for one horrifying moment, Bruce thought he was going to throw another one of his tantrums, but instead he turned the other way.

“Damian,” Bruce warned.

“-rry.”

“Louder, Damian.”

“I’M SORRY,” he shouted, glancing defiantly at Bruce’s warning glare and crossing his arms across his chest, “for calling your owl’s name ridiculous. It’s _your_ owl, you can call him whatever you please.”

Jon just gave him a funny look before he was summarily cuffed on the back of the head. He cried out in surprise and grabbed it before looking back at his father.

“Pa! Wa’ was tha’ for!?!”

Clark gave him a stern glare, “You weren’t being polite either, young man. You need to apologize too.”

“But – ”

“No buts. What would Gramma say if she saw you acting like this?”

Jonathan looked down and kicked the floor, squirming a bit before finally mumbling, “ ‘m sorry Damian. Maximilian’s a good name for an owl.”

Damian stared at him for a moment before he reluctantly whispered, “Hooty McOwlface is kinda cool.”

Apparently he didn’t whisper it as quietly as he thought, because Jonathan was instantly in front of Damian again, rambling excitedly about how exactly he came up with it and how he wanted a nice “owl-y sounding name.” Damian, for his part, looked like he couldn’t decide whether he wanted Jon to back up or quiet down. Perhaps both, if the pained pinching of his face was anything to go by.

Bruce just smiled and left them to it. Damian needed to learn to get along with kids his age – if that meant trapping him with promises of owl meet n’ greets, well, let’s just say Bruce wasn’t above that.

“Well, that ended better than it could’ve,” Clark chuckled, watching his son do some kind of excited jig as Bruce’s watched on with a kind of horrified fascination.

“ _Much_ better. Damian’s had some temper issues since his mother left,” Bruce admitted.

Clark visibly hesitated before looking back at Bruce and asking, “So, his mother…”

“Long gone,” Bruce assured him. “I think the last time I saw her was Damian’s third birthday.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Clark said, his face crumpling slightly in sympathy. He looked back at the boys, continuing softly, “Jon never got to know his mother. She died in childbirth. Almost lost both of them that day.”

Bruce had never been good at comforting people, so he just settled for gently clasping Clark’s shoulder and offering what he hoped was a sympathetic smile.

Clark smiled in return, placing his hand over Bruce’s for a moment and squeezing it gently. He dropped it and coughed a bit, turning a bit pink in the cheeks, making Bruce worry he was choking or something before he spoke up again.

“I mean, she got the chance to – that is, she told me that if something happened, I shouldn’t…”

“…are you alright?” Bruce asked slowly.

Clark chuckled helplessly, his flush spreading to the very tips of his ears. “Look, I know talking about my wife isn’t a great opening line, but what I’m trying to say – well, _ask_ , really – is, would you like to have dinner together sometime?”

Bruce blankly stared at him before he finally parsed out what Clark had been getting at. He felt his own face warm up a bit, but congratulated himself on not sputtering. After taking a moment to compose himself, he finally managed to reply, “I…would like that.”

Clark grinned shyly. “How about tomorrow night at 7? Can you get a sitter?”

Bruce quickly ran through his and Dick’s schedules before slowly confirming, “I should be able to, yes.”

“Then it’s a date!”

They were both grown men with children, so there was absolutely no reason for Bruce to feel fifteen all over again, but here he was, getting jitters for a date that wasn’t even until the following day. He wanted to feel more frustrated about it, but looking at Clark’s smile made it difficult.

They were broken out of their peaceful reverie when the door swung open again, heralding two zookeepers and the two owls. Jonathan squealed and ran over, while Damian leapt out of his chair and scrambled to catch up. Bruce smothered another sigh of relief, and Clark lurched out of his chair. Before Bruce could join him, Clark extended his hand with another soft smile.

“Shall we?”

Bruce smiled back and firmly took his hand, pulling himself up and carefully lacing their fingers together. He tried to keep the smile from turning into a smirk as Clark blushed again, but he didn’t comment on it and just started making his way towards their sons, tugging Clark along by their joined hands.

Well, his day didn’t go as smoothly as he’d been hoping, but sometimes, he thought, watching Damian reverently reach out to stroke the owl’s feathers and breaking into a delighted grin when it cooed at him, maybe that was for the best.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea why I've been wanting to do so many SuperBat drabbles lately. I've been trying to get it out of my system before classes start up again, but I'm not sure how successful I was. Hope you all like them, either way. And yes, the name of Damian's show is a terrible attempt at a play on 'Downton Abbey.' 
> 
> Also, this is the post that inspired the fic, if you're interested: http://dippkip.tumblr.com/post/148367160230


End file.
